'' Not as Pristine as You are led to Believe ''
PART 5 ... The Funny Part
Written by Osteopathic Solutions Director Gareth Milner BSc. (Hons) Ost.
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Welcome to Part 5 of my hyper-credible, educational, insightful, surprising, shocking and this Part … the damn right laugh out loud funny Part of my ‘will stay as long as Pristine Condition are in the Business of negligent Manual Handling Techniques’ Blog Post ‘NOT as Pristine as YOU are Led to Believe.’
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As you have followed me on this journey of Pristine Condition enlightenment, aside from the main theme, their exposing as Manual Handling Novices, ask yourself this question … How have I improved my knowledge in Manual Handling and Musculoskeletal Disorder Risk Management? … and remember this knowledge is Career power.
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Firstly in Part 5 I am going to be a Guinea Pig. No, that doesn’t mean I am going to dress up and make high pitched Guinea Pig squeaks; I am off to Davy Snowdon’s ‘stay in his lane’ environment; an environment I too know very well … the Weights Gymnasium. ​We saw three exercises in Part 2, of which 2 are Olympic Weightlifting Techniques. The Deadlift and Clean & Jerk. Below I perform them. This was actually the very first time I had done The Clean & Jerk so I look forward to Davy Snowdon’s Blog in return (in kind) about my novice Clean & Jerk skills. The Dead Lift I used to practise in my teens and 20s. This was one of the reasons I suffered a herniated disc in my neck at 25, and had to call a day in my Clinical Osteopathy career 2 years only after it had started. Shit happens to us all.
Videos coming soon!
The clips (above right) of my Osteopathic Treatment the next day. are me having the strain removed from my spine caused by these lifts.
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So, The Clean & Jerk. Pristine Condition has it as one of the Brand logos as you can see. Therefore with such a statement of ‘Lift well, live well’ why, of all lifting practices, The Clean & Jerk? Of course, the answer is MBE’s heritage. But, I will ask it again. Why the Clean & Jerk? When you are trying to promote BackSafe lifting practices. Why? If I was a Health & Safety Professional, free from Pristinus Neurological Disorder, I would look at that Brand logo and think ‘If they condone the Clean & Jerk, they can go jerk off.’ Let us change this moto ‘Lift well-like Pristine, and your Doughnuts* will …. swell.’
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*Your Doughnuts being your intervertebral discs, in case their other moto hasn’t stuck. Your back will be stuck and you might need the musculoskeletal Expertise of an Osteopath. Here you can find an Osteopath local to you www.iosteopathy.org/find-an-osteopath
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At a major UK Food Production Company their Group Safety Director informed me in 2024 that Pristine Condition’s Training Executives were executively teaching their factory employees to use their ‘Big EnginesTRADEMARK’ with the Clean and Jerk. This involved lifting a 25kg bagged load low from a pallet to above head height to tip into a hopper above head height. Coupled with their 'CORRECT TECHNIQUE' for pushing a car, this ‘Food Factory Clean & Jerk’ is spectacuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuular.
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This technique is ok if you are in front of a crowd on a stage, have trained years in the gym, eat a kilogram of beef steak every day, washed down with 3-4 protein shakes, but to teach this to normal people, going against HSE practices in Appendix 3, and going against any sound, basic (yes, basic) biomechanics, if Pristine Condition could be struck off the Manual Handling Training register … please strike them off now … never to return. I repeat, Olympic Weight Lifting …. does NOT transfer to industry. It never has. And never will.
The Ugly … returns
Let’s look at this lifting practice on Pristine Condition's ‘Can you Feel it Video Series.’ There are a few moderately useful practices on this Video, around the house, but remember this is the Video with pushing of the old mini, that started off this Blog series.
We’ll take a brief look as we have biomechanically critiqued their Squat Lifting teaching in Part 1 of this Blog series, and Parts 2 and 3 of my ‘Challenging HSE Guidance in Safer Lifting Practice.’ ​
Take a look at (above left) CAN YOU FEEL IT still first. OK, so there are couple of things that are right, or wrong, however you look at it. The child is relatively too far away from her Centre of Gravity* coupled with her feet being too close together. Her neck is almost snapping at the C5 cervical level. The C5/C6 neck joint is a functional pivot and one us Osteopaths regular manipulate/ mobilise. … I perform a High Velocity Thrust Manipulation on C5/C6 on Emma Farrell (shown below left).
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*I can hear the Pristine Condition Sales & Marketing Team jump on this one, as they like to do with us, saying we overcomplicate or over medical jargon things. I will remark back, this is a Blog, something they never write. Just Videos of talking, or moving their arms around like they are going to manually handle a load, but then the Video cuts, and onto the next clip of when they are going to manually handle a load, and again the Video cuts. Zero substance. Zero value.
Video coming soon!
So the CAN YOU FEEL IT lift will create strain to the neck, lower back and also the knees as there is little base of support stability.
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Now let’s look at the 'CORRECT TECHNIQUE' part. Say what you see. Well it jumps out like a sore thumb, or I should say a sore neck. The snapping neck position. Davy Snowdon (on the left in the above right image) performs this neck position.
Chronic neck pain due to enlarged bones called Osteophytes pushing on the lower neck nerves, a combined degenerative process called Spondylosis and Osteoarthritis. Something I know well as I have suffered its symptoms for 10 years, partly due to all that Olympic-style Weightlifting I did too early in my teens, before I trained to be an Osteopath at The European School of Osteopathy.
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There is a deeper squat, but as the feet are only slightly wider than hip width, and NOT the slightly wider than shoulder width apart, the child’s weight is still relatively too far away from the lifter’s body. We have gone into why the feet should be level, and not this negligent HSE recommendation of one foot in front of the other. If you want to learn more about this then read ‘Challenging HSE Guidance on Safer Lifting Practice’ but only after you have read all of Part 5, especially if you are nearing the end of your Pristinus Neurological Disorder.
'CORRECT TECHNIQUE' … it’s such a shame many people have seen this video and are practising this Orthopaedic Surgeon awaiting negligence. Maybe all the people who have suffered such debilitating neck pain from Davy Snowdon’s deluded techniques … should take him to Court for damages. Wouldn’t be a bad idea. Newton’s Law and all that.
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We move on in The Ugly Returns. Now Davy, in his new Grounds Maintenance Role after all those 1000s of people have taken him and his Business to the Small Claims Court. Here Davy picks up a strimmer using one hand, using predominantly his back, in guess what, a twisted position. OMG!! Did I just write that. I will write it again so I am not daydreaming. He lifts with a spinal twist. That’s mindfulness for you. Davy isn’t being mindful. He must be thinking of his lunchtime doughnuts or that MET-Rx Protein Shake. ‘Don’t do the doughnuts Davy, it's bad for you, just like your lifting technique!’
The strimmer is an awkwardly shaped load, but it isn’t heavy. As Davy knows our head, arms and trunk weighs two thirds, or in Pristine Condition Marketing language 66% of your total bodyweight. Therefore your lower back muscles are supporting approximately 50kg with this biomechanical negligent technique, with the 5th lumbar disc moaning ‘Seriously, your twisting is wrecking me!’
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From our Council Services DVD Video (which is part of our Manual Handling Training DVD, shown below), here I am performing an Optimal lift of a strimmer. Have a look how I minimise the mechanical strain on my body.
The Insurance Company Partnerships
I take my hat off to Pristine Condition and Davy Snowdon in how they have pulled these recommendations off from household Insurance names.
‘Exceptional Expertise.’
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This is what one of these Insurance Companies said about Pristine Condition. From what you have been enlightened to in this Blog series, you will surely comprehend now that this is fabrication to the highest degree. ​There are some Businesses that make it that are lucky. Of course, any Business that is successful makes more good decisions than bad ones and puts in the hours. Many hustle.
Pristine Condition came in a time when the UK Manual Handling market was USELESS.
It isn’t much better now. Health & Safety Professionals were pulled into their ‘Olympic Handling Principles’. And with this their name rose. Many NEVER questioned … ‘Is what they teach ... actually right?’.
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With these Insurance Company endorsements, you cannot help but question what backgrounds do the people who have given Pristine Condition these endorsements, have? i.e. even if they are Medical Doctors, shame on them for endorsing a Business with such a ‘Cowboy*’ of a Director with no Professional Degree Level Qualifications and one that endorses such catastrophic for the body practices as this. There is no defence to this. No spin.
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*Not my word, stated by an ‘Eyes wide Open’, PND free Group HSE Manager of a major UK Logistics Company that used to use Pristine Condition.
​The Spin Doctor Analogy
If you are in your 40s like me, you will recall Tony Blair’s Spin Doctor Alastair Campbell.
Public relations advisors, pollsters and media consultants who develop deceptive or misleading messages may be referred to as "Spin Doctors" or "Spinmeisters". A standard tactic used in "spinning" is to reframe or modify the perception of an issue or event to reduce any negative impact it might have on public opinion.
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In public relations and politics, spin is a form of propaganda, achieved through knowingly providing a biased interpretation of an event or campaigning to influence public opinion about some organization or public figure.
Back in Blair and Labour’s 1997 General Election victory Campbell worked as Blair's spokesman and campaign director in opposition (1994–1997), then as Downing Street Press Secretary, and as the Prime Minister's Official Spokesperson (1997–2000).
In this photo Alastair Campbell is even doing Davy Snowdon’s hands and arms wide open gesture. Just Davy’s is normally bigger. No surprise there. Is this the sign of a Spin Doctor?
Pristine Condition Manual Handling
On the theme of Politics here is the Osteopathic Solutions Lifting Manifesto …
‘’At Osteopathic Solutions we teach a prescriptive, individualised lifting technique that is relevant to the individual’s body, within the context of flexibility, strength and associated musculoskeletal disorders, there and then, alongside the size, weight and shape of the inanimate load, maximising lifting power and minimising musculoskeletal strain.''
Validation from External Bodies
PRISTINE CONDITION INTERNATIONAL ACHIEVES ISO 9001 CERTIFICATION: A COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE.
In 2016 we decided to Accredit our Manual Handling Courses. We approached IOSH, City & Guilds* and CIEH. Initially we started with IOSH, but they wanted blood. We could certainly teach them something about structure, technical content and delivery of Manual Handling Courses. We then went through a 4 month project with City & Guilds and gained our Accreditation with them.
We ceased our Accreditation with City & Guilds as they charged us per Learner for Certificates on our Instructor Assessor Courses. After the initial Accreditation procedure they offered zero support, for their (a lot of) money, in the 2nd and 3rd years. If you saw the lavish City & Guilds Head Office in Central London, you would see where this money is going. We now have external Accreditation with The CPD Group. We believe the feedback we get from our Clients is the best Accreditation. External Accreditation from Accreditation Companies is NOT all it's cracked up to be.
Manual Handling Instructor Qualification
Bespoke Manual Handling Programme.
Courses run by Occupational Osteopaths.
Inherently Practical in content.
Formal Practical & Written Assessment.
Indefinite Post Course Support.
From only £332 Per Attendee.
Book Online facility.
Accredited by The CPD Group.
You have likely heard of the company Citation, who own IHASCO. If you have use IHASCO for their shocking Online Manual Handling Training Programme, or you are thinking of using them check out my, yes I know more contrarian Blogs but necessary, '' IHASCO Exposed - The Truth about their Manual Handling Training '' and '' The Perils of IHASCO for your Manual Workforce ''. These Blogs expose another Company with such technical Manual Handling negligence, who have got away with cleaning up in the Digital Manual Handling market. Pull back the neat presentation on the Programme and you will uncover Manual Handling technique horrors.
So Citation has not consulted one Physical Therapist for their sister company IHASCO’s Online Programme. They have a Radio Presenter performing the Manual Handling ‘techniques’. They are spreading practices that will cripple peoples’ knees. Osteoarthritis (OA) of the knees, a condition I used to clinically treat every day; OA as us Physical Therapists call it, ruins lives. And Citation, for their dirty fees, are validating Pristine Condition. This Citation ISO stamp for Pristine Condition stands for …
Ignorants
Starting
Osteoarthritis
Back to '' NOT as Pristine as YOU are Led to Believe '' ...
The below is stated on the Pristine Condition website:
This is great validation for our programmes at the highest level. So if an inspector knocks at your door, tell them about our Primary Authority Advice - no one can challenge that! We are proud to have achieved such a highly regarded validation which is further endorsed by the unprecedented results achieved across all industries.
It’s a shame for Luton Borough Council’s (hard working, doing physical very tough jobs) employees that they have gone from being taught Optimal* Handling techniques to Negligent ‘Olympic Standard’ Handling techniques. You have to wonder whether someone has been paid by Pristine Condition to public validate their Programme. It’s just so strange. In my 18 years of dealing with Councils in this industry I have just never heard of such a thing. Is it even made up? A spin of some sort?
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*We qualified Manual Handling Instructors for Luton Borough Council in on our Public Courses.
Since 2010, over 100 Councils across the UK, County, District, Borough and City has either contracted us to qualify in-house Manual Handling Instructors and Risk Assessors, upskill their Workforce, perform Manual Handling & Ergonomic Risk Assessments*, purchase our Digital Training Products and my Book Sorry! We’re Closed. Here are some photos of myself and the Team over the years.
*Check out our Dacorum Borough Council Risk Assessment Case Study here.
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What will the Pristine Business Development Team & Davy Snowdon say about us?
Over the years we have heard from many Health & Safety Professionals the lies Pristine Condition’s Sales Team and Davy Snowdon have said about us. They fabricate we are too technical. They fabricate we make things complicated. They will say ‘You don’t need a Physical Therapist to teach people what good Manual Handling practice is.’ Our Team are, here it comes …. ‘The best of the best’. I can’t resist it. What a film! Here it is again.
Manual Handling is more than ‘Use your Big Engines.’ It is a good amount more technical. Not to say it is Rocket Science. Certainly not. But there is information, theoretical background knowledge that we teach, to as simple a level as it needs to be. Whether qualifying Instructors or upskilling employees directly in their working environments, our Optimal Manual Handling Techniques are Made to Stick.
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In all our Courses there are Learning Outcomes. Goes with out saying that. As the Business Owner, I want situations where a Group HSE Manager is walking around onsite and sees Instructors who we have qualified delivering a remarkable job, teaching Optimal Handling Techniques will skill and passion.
We want the Group HSE Manager to ask their Colleagues … ‘Who taught them? They are doing a great job!’ … their HSE Colleague’s reply ‘Osteopathic Solutions’.
We want people to suffer MSDs far less, preferably not at all. You only achieve this by keeping ALL things as simple as they can be.
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I remind Davy Snowdon, his Training Executives and ALL Pristinus Neurological Disorder sufferers … Manual Handling is more than ‘Use your Big Engines.’
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Of course, no matter how much you question their ‘techniques’ … in inverted commas there …. you can rely on Pristine Condition and Davy Snowdon himself to go on and on, and on, and on, and on (love this 1991 Ariston Advert) about their ‘unprecedented results’, the employee ‘buy-in’, their ‘exceptional expertise.’
I have a Bachelor of Science Degree in Osteopathy. I am not NEBOSH trained. I don’t have IOSH letters after my name. Let’s pose this question to you … What are IOSH’s shortcomings? No Company, Institution or Person is perfect are they? What is IOSH, not good at? I will leave you to ponder this for a few minutes, or maybe you have already shouted them out to me. I wish I heard you. Perhaps you could message them to me on LinkedIn. Out of interest.
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Pristine Condition … IOSH Approved Training Provider 1997 … An IOSH embarrassment. Maybe we should send this Blog series to IOSH. For the greater good.
The Commercial Aggressiveness
Business is defined as commercial activity … making money by producing or buying and selling products, such as goods and services.
Humans have been involved in Business since Lucy the Hominid, well ok, a number of 100,000 years later. Of course, Business needs promotion. It needs Sales and Marketing Professionals. It has to have Business Contracts. However, there has to be fairness. ‘A rip off culture’ should never exist.
‘‘Pristine Condition were commercially aggressive!’’
The Donald Trump Analogy
I won’t draw this into Politics. It’s funny, recently I went into a local Restaurant Bar in Malta and on the wall was a sign ‘No discussion of Politics’. Donald Trump, love him or loathe him, but he certainly is a Man of Steel. An Ironman. I like him. We have 2 things in common. He has been a CEO. Technically I am too, but instead I prefer to call myself an SME Owner. Less pretentious … like Davy Snowdon MBE CEO and Founder. The 2nd thing Mr. Trump and Mr. Milner have in common is our love of Golf.
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There was a really good Documentary on Donald Trump on TV a few years ago. As we all know one can never trust the Media, but Donald Trump did rather trample on his Competitors.* I mean seriously trample. It was a shame that in certain construction projects in India, workers weren’t paid for ages, some probable never, whilst he flew in his Private Jet.
We have heard BakkavorGate earlier in this series where Davy Snowdon went eppy** when his Business wasn’t chosen and we were.
Another Trump-esque trample by Davy happened when Warburtons brought me in to present at their Bolton HQ. Whether it is true or not, I had heard Warburtons were going to bring us in as their preferred provider. At the time, I had informed Health & Safety Professionals who were at their height of suffering from PND that Warburtons were ready to dump Pristine Condition and bring in True MSD Risk Management Professionals.
Majorly Big Ego got hold of it and told his Chinese-Whispers to Warburtons Corporate Personality people. Warburtons ceased their courting of us. In 14 years of Business, I have not come across one Company who gets you to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement before they even contract your services. At Osteopathic Solutions, we try and work with nice people. People who speak to us on the phone. People who respect the work we do. People people. I am glad we didn’t work with Warburtons; their people need to work with people like Donald Trump and Davy Snowdon.
*If you think this Blog series is trampling, think of the 1000s of people it will help in NOT being taught that mini-van pushing practice. Think of the 1000s of people who will suffer less debilitating Osteoarthritis. For the greater good this Series.
**Eppy … a tantrum or outburst. Like toddlers do.
The TV Story
You and your Partner buy a TV. At home you make your lounge like a home cinema. Eardrum bursting sound systems. A comfortable sofa. A table for your popcorn and alcoholic beverages. Nice and cosy.
A year passes and you get a letter saying you must pay the Retail Company to use the TV the coming year … £300. You have never heard of such a practice. You paid for the TV there and then, all £1000 of it.
A week later you hear noises outside. The sound of feet running. You look out of the window but see nothing. Then boom! Your back door is smashed. Military Paratroopers rush in, lights beaming from their guns, as they push you to the ground, one holding a gun to your head surrounded by 4 others, as one goes to your lounge and takes your TV … the one you paid £1000 for.
The next thing you see is your bedroom. Sweat pours down your face. A nightmare.
All Businesses must make profits to run. Goes without saying. But there are ways to make money. License Agreements (with additional yearly fees) to use a product AFTER the product has been paid for. That’s poor. Of low values. That’s Pristine Condition and it’s CEO and Founder MBE.
Has your Business, on your watch, suffered this disrespect?
What the Honest, PND Free say about them?
In Part 4 we saw 3 Group Safety Managers who have all been on Davy Snowdon's private jet with Champagne and Caviar. All desperately in need of the PND antidote.
And then there’s the realists. The non-brainwashed. The non-believers. Some were originally PND sufferers who themselves, without the need of all 5 Parts of this Blog series, recovered from this illness.
A Group Safety Director at a major UK Food Company with 15 factories is quoted as saying to me ...​
‘‘Pristine Condition … A one trick pony’’
‘‘Davy Snowdon and Pristine Condition, they’re Cowboys’’
Thanks Guys. All received a copy of my Book Sorry! We’re Closed. We can’t afford trips on the Davy Express with wine and a 4 Course Meal. Sorry Guys.
The One Trick Pony Analogy
'' A person or thing with only one special feature, talent, or area of expertise. ''
The Olympic Coach Analogy
Video coming soon of me coaching a Deadlift!
Ok, so I am going to coach the British Weightlifting Team. Somehow I have tricked the Management Board and they gave me the job.
With good motivational skills, a strong and loud voice, an ability to coach large groups, 30 years Weight Training experience, an average knowledge* of the musculoskeletal system, a history of MSDs, experience of performance supplements and whey protein, a somewhat obsessive teenage adulation of Arnold Schwarzenegger** … I am confident of giving it a good crack.
A year into the role, after the European Championships I lead the Team to their worst position for 30 years.
I should have 'stayed in my lane’ ...... Davy gets his job back.
*Compared to MBE’s ‘wide knowledge of applied anatomy, kinetics and exercise physiology.'
**I’m happily married to Mrs Milner (the happy couple above) I’ll have you know.
What will Pristine Condition say about me?
As you have read Osteopathy was in my blood for 4 years at the European School of Osteopathy, where I graduated in 2004. Like many Professions that train for so long, it becomes engrained in you. As I have said earlier, shit happens to us all. My Career shit happened at 25 years old when my neck injury was so bad, that even Clinically treating one patient would push me to taking my first 2 x Tramadol tablets (out of the 6) of the day. I have known what a serious musculoskeletal injury feels like for nearly 20 years now. ​Let’s digress. When you qualify in a degree called Osteopathy that qualifies you to be an Osteopath; when you take a different career path and stop paying the money grabbing General Osteopathic Council* (GOSC) their rip off yearly fees, can you call yourself a Qualified Osteopath?
Simply, yes. And I will call myself a Qualified Osteopath until the day I die. Happily. These days I perform an Osteopath treatment for my Wife Emma and friends. Here is a Video where I treat Emma in 2019. Rather like Scottie Schaeffler if he rocked the golf world and retired today, in 20 years time, he won’t forget how to hit a golf ball. Once a Golfer, always a Golfer. Once an Osteopath, always an Osteopath* Davy Snowdon and any of your Sales & Marketing Team that feel the need to lie and fabricate about me.​
*As I have previously stated, I did NOT attend the GOSC’s Tribunal as they state on their website. 1. I do not receive money from paying Osteopathy Clients. 2. I do NOT live in the UK. 3. Since 2010, with the support of our Team, we have prevented serious spinal and other MSDs in 1000s of people, so that they can live their lives and enjoy more of it. A very good cause Matthew Redford, Chief Administrator at the GOSC. I will repeat it, for Matthew this time, once a Qualified Osteopath, always an Osteopath.
**Do you suffer from a chronic, every day musculoskeletal disorder? To learn more about Osteopathy and its Professionalism, after you complete Part 5 of either your PND Treatment or PND prevention, check out my Blog post '' The Professionalism of an Osteopath '' by clicking here.​
Fancy a Chuckle?
Over the last 4 years I have read a lot of uber-selling Books like Dan Norris’ Content Machine, Carmine Gallo’s TALK LIKE TED, Dan & Chip Heath’s Made to Stick, Gareth Milner’s Sorry! We’re Closed … oops that’s me and my one, sadly not uber-selling, but it is very niche … get to the point Gareth … and in many of them either have funny bits or they state that humour is needed in Blog writing or published content.
There has been a lot of sarcasm. Yes, I know I know, some say the lowest form of wit. But have you laughed? If you have, remember laughter is good for the soul, and our mental health and wellbeing. Pat me on the back for that.
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Of course there has been one Pantomime Villain in this series. Poor Davy. He will be fine, don’t worry. He won’t listen to anything I say. He drove into Warburtons in a £100,000 Range Rover. When I was 34 years old I drove in a pre-loved grey Ford Focus. That will help the Majorly Big Ego.
We actually …. have a lot in common. Look above, we have 19 mutual LinkedIn connections. Only joking! No, with all seriousness. We are keen gym goers. We both run a Business. We are both British. We both have letters after our name. We are both educated, myself over 4 years at The European School of Osteopathy and Davy at the Home Office College of Physical Education.*
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*Google shows no history of this Learning Centre. Maybe because it was so long ago. A few years after I came out of nappies. They were teaching Physical Education, not Advanced Anatomy and Physiology, that’s if they existed … other than Davy’s imagination. Do you see his Certificate anywhere? You will see mine on the gallery above where we throw our Graduation Caps.
Davy Snowdon and I have both ventured into Products.
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'‘At Pristine, we pride ourselves by bringing new products to the table.’'
When I go to the gym next, expect to see me with the rucksack, water bottle, cap and hoodie. If I buy these, you would hope Davy would trade with us too and buy our Manual Handling Training DVD*.
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*Where he would learn a thing or 2 about Optimal Manual Handling Techniques.
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Now some light entertainment.
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The clap of the crowd. The TV cameras. The bright lights. As the stage doors open we hear the announcer loud and clear ...
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'' It’s Saturday night.
It’s the ‘never done before’,
‘unprecedented’,
‘World Leading’
‘Best of the Best’
Davy Snowdon Entertainment Show.
Take it away Davy! ''​
If you haven’t seen this Video below, click here and watch it.
Welcome back. Cringey wasn’t it.
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In his office (to be honest I expected it to be plusher than that, supposed he isn’t Christian Horner, that fellow Racing Team CEO) it looks like he is keeping the local Henley-On-Thames picture framing Business Jack’s Gallery going.
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As you are a Health & Safety Professional, unlike Davy, but like Andrew T., and you are well versed in the Display Screen Equipment Regulations* what do you see? As we are on a Saturday Night TV Show, let’s keep the TV theme, as in Roy Walker … ''Say what you see!''
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''OK Gareth, I see that his ‘Bespoke DVD License Agreement’ paid Apple Computer is too far away from him, and his phone. This will lead to neck strain and potential chronic neck pain.''
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Did you see that bit when he walks into the office past his employees? I couldn’t imagine doing that. Filming a video when you walk past your Business’ employees. Phenomenal. And I don’t mean that in a positive way. What must his Team think of him? If they are PNDed … then worship. Let’s hope for his sake they are PNDed up to the eyeballs.
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*Who needs sleeping tablets. DSE Regs … a cure for chronic insomnia.
‘Suits you Sir’
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Notice the Alistair Campbell Spin Doctor-esque hands and arms wide open. As you have seen in this Pristine Condition Blockbuster series, Davy feels the need to remind us of his MBE title ALL THE TIME and that he is the Founder and CEO … ALL THE TIME.
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I will massage his ego. Look here he is with the Head of the Tax Thieving Empire herself … God Bless her Soul.
​You can almost image Davy breaking into some sort of rap song with words like ...
'' Use Your Geordie Rockets, Lassie. Nice Hoose you have here. It’s in Pristine Condition '' …
with Her Majesty saying '' What’s a Geordie? ''
'' Reet. It’s all Common Sense Man. Belta! ''
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In this part, Davy is taking the role of the Health & Safety Manager, by the sounds of it … '' Method statements '' … making something so very simple sound complex, with a view to make him sound more intelligent. It looks like he treats the laddie like a Doylem.
'' Me ma said … '' Wee-Davy. Stick to those walkways. Whey Aye Man! ''
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Stick to walk ways … thanks Davy. A bit like don’t forget to tie your shoe laces.
'' There’s Twelve Terrorists on the roof! ''​
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In this part Davy is auditioning for Die Hard 6 telling us about fire safety … I mean he looks like Bruce Willis doesn’t he? … you know the Ex-Weight Lifter come Fireman, come Hollywood Actor. I feel an Oscar award brewing.
'' Don’t do it Davy! … If you jump NOBODY can save industry from Manual Handling risks! ''
'' I may look like a Minion, but it’s all about the bunion … sorry cut … the buy in’ … fu*kin-ell. ''
If you can’t spot Davy, like in those childrens’ books Where's the Wally? ... sorry my mistake ... Where's Wally? Davy is the only one with their arms outstretched with his #UseYourGeordieRocketsTrademarked ''Look at Me!'' post he is an Expert at. Now he is a Food Hygienist telling us about ''Allergens … they can cross contaminate. You need to know how to control that … the first thing is correct PPE.''
Thanks Davy. The next time I eat a mass produced food product, I will sleep better at night knowing you were giving your Expert advice.
This is where he should stay … in a place with Weights. With this, Pristinus Neurological Disorder will be a disease of the past.
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Now, he’s auditioning for the new ‘Ready, Steady. Cook!’ What bullshit are you going to cook up in 20 minutes Davy ‘Harriott’?
He’s on a … '' Highway to the Danger Zone! ''
Now Davy’s changing the tyres on the plane you are flying on! He’s a Man of many talents. Unprecedented. Watch those knees Davy. That’s a posture that will cause Osteoarthritis in them.
The word fake comes to mind. That’s not just the background.
'' The Pristine Chauffeur ''
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Luckily if you have flown from across the world to meet Davy Snowdon at the Pristine Condition Head Office, you would have been greeted by their new Chauffeur … suits your Sir*.
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*That’s what MBEs are greeted by.
The Pristine Racing Team.
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Max Verstappen has new competition in Pristine’s Media Production Editor and Ex-Skoda employee Charlie Budd.
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Christian Horner has some competition now with Davy. It’s lucky for Davy though he wasn’t pushing Ginger’s pectorals. OMG! I think there might have been a Tribunal like Christian’s if that socially unacceptable event happened.
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*Christian Horner, now that’s a successful Businessman … Davy.
'' The interest generated was unprecedented … ''
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Here’s a story.*
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One winter morning at a Comprehensive School in Newcastle, little Davy was sitting amongst 40 children, who were all writing a story. In Davy’s it is about an Olympic Weight Lifter who wins Championship after Championship, goes into Movies and then becomes a President of the World.
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The Teacher asks the Group who wants to present at the class front. Little Davy jumps up … saying '' Me, Me, Me …. Sir. ''
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5 minutes pass. The Classroom silent. The Teacher says '' Davy, that’s a remarkable story, but you need to say unprecedented a little less. Take a seat. ''
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*It may have been fictional, but do you sense it might just be history?
‘Please trust me.’
No, seriously. He actually says that.
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A bit like the Waitrose Health & Safety novice who said … '' It sounds like I am on commission.'' What’s the first thing that comes to your head when someone says that?
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And Davy’s … OMG … '' Please trust me. '' ​And what’s the first thing that comes to your head when someone says that?
Here Davy reminds me of a Comedian. Which one though? Davy is from the North East. That’s fairly similar to the Scottish accent. That’s it … Billy Connelly. They’re even doing the same hand and arm gestures. It’s un-canny. The thing is Davy tries to be funny. But he is just … not.
'' Tea or Coffee? ''
'' Navigating the Skies of Aviation Culture Change '' … this is the self-coined ‘insightful’ presentation Davy was giving to the Asia Pacific Airline Training Symposium. It beggars belief.
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Let’s hope all their Employees won’t be navigating their way to the Orthopaedic Surgeon’s operating table with years of practising this …
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'' Air Stewardess!! .... I think that bloke needs some Optimal Manual Handling Training?! ''
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As you are still reading this, I expect you have used Pristine Condition.
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Now with what I have hyper-credibly presented in this Blog I politely request you to ask yourself the following questions.
Are/ were you happy with Pristine Condition’s service?
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What do you like about Pristine Condition?
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What could they do better?
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You’re a NEBOSH/ IOSH qualified Health & Safety Professional, right?
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Of course you want the employees, on your watch, to go home without pain?
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Davy Snowdon and their Business Development Managers’ self coined ‘unprecedented results’ aside,
with what I have hyper-credibly and factually made you aware of in this Blog
why are you using a Business that is so obviously negligent* at what they do?
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Why are you using a business that is teaching you ‘should be kept on the weight
lifting competition stage’ lifting practices?
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Could the reductions in Manual Handling Injuries have been better with an Expert Business
in Manual Handling Risk Management, whose Team are Physical Therapists
who teach Optimal Handling Techniques including individualised handling prescriptions?
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If you have reasonable reductions, what are variables (mentioned earlier)
were there that could have supported these reductions?
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Do you have Confirmation Bias, that this business selling Championship Weight Lifting practices,
is as good as they say they are?
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And lastly, be really honest with yourself, especially if you have XX genetics,
have you been pulled in by the (fake) charm of Davy Snowdon?
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*If you need a reminder, go back to the start of this Blog where I took a Physical Therapists educated stand on
the ‘spectacular’ pushing practice they hopelessly teach.
And as we bring this Louis Theroux style investigation to its close, aside from the (harsh but true) critique of all things* Pristine Condition, as well as the rightful 'for the greater good' sledgehammering of Davy Snowdon MBE (he has brought it upon himself) ... I ask you the following.
What have you learnt?
What value did you gain?
What can you put into action?
Feel free to think about this. Here is what I believe you have gained from reading this epic** Blog post.
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*Remember there was The Good. But it wasn't that good, was it?
**Within the context of MSD and Manual Handling Risk Management.
Conclusion
Over this epic 5 Part series in Part 1 you saw the most negligent of pushing techniques. What a shocker it was! Sorry, still is*. You saw that Professor of Physical Therapy Nick Washmuth stated that the only Professionals that should give Manual Handling advice are Physical Therapists i.e. Osteopaths, Chiropractors and Physiotherapists. You saw, with your own eyes, The Ugly and Chief Cowboy Davy Snowdon teaching The Ugly. In their Team you saw they are predominantly Sales and Marketing Experts. Only 1 of their Team being NEBOSH trained. You saw their arrogance; sensationally describing their Team of Ex-Military as the ‘best of the best’ … perhaps they mean concerning being Commandos … and not Manual Handling? You saw their products … branded hoodies and gym apparel. You became more mindful through the Alcoholics Anonymous Analogy, that true Musculoskeletal Experts could actually achieve better than their ‘unprecedented’ results. You saw Davy’s garden. You saw him in it demonstrating a shockingly low level of body awareness (reminder below right). The Bad. You had your first insight that Olympic Lifting Techniques … do NOT transfer to industry.
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*As today, the day you are reading this; their Training Executives will have been spreading its practice.
**Respect there.
In Part 2 you saw The Good. It wasn’t long was it? And with all the Sales and Marketing self-aggrandising, lies and fabrications … was it really good.? With that I mean, of good human values. Up for debate that. You saw what Personal Trainers believe (with uneducated delusion) are practices that the normal body can physically take … The Deadlift … The Clean & Jerk … and Good Mornings. You saw that Davy Snowdon is a Personal Trainer. You saw that Davy’s validation came from the Queen. Her only link with Physical Therapy being her Son, now King Charles, formerly being The Patron of UK Osteopathy … and validation from Davy’s gym bud John Lear. Those validations are up for debate. You saw the ‘Stay in Your Lane’ and ‘The American Cowboy’ Analogies helping you gain further perspective. You saw so much fabrication and bullshit, that the Advertising Standards Agency are now buying ‘unprecedented’ levels of room perfumes, air fresheners and scented candles.
You learnt about Confirmation Bias. The Truth Campaign in the USA was brought to your attention, where the tax increase in cigarettes supported the advertising campaigns to reduce smoking in young adults. Pristinus Neurologic Disorder (PND) and it’s signs and symptoms were published. And you saw that PND doesn’t affect all Health & Safety Professionals in that Laing O’Rourke didn’t experience ‘unprecedented results.’ The Pristine Condition ‘World leading’ programme ‘didn’t work for them.’
In Part 3 you saw, lo and behold, Pristine Condition have jumped on the AI Bandwagon, quite predictably, with their Anatomical Incompetence App (awaiting … not actually a thing). You saw Davy Snowdon doing what he does best … lifting heavy weights with the ‘ruin every joint in your body’ Clean & Jerk. You saw him, with your own eyes, performing THAT pushing practice. Let’s show you again, just in case you thought you were dreaming. You learnt that if Uber went down at Heathrow, you could call Pristine for their ‘best of the best’ Chauffeur. You saw the Pristine Marketing Machine spew out their very best marketing tripe. You read that a Group Health & Safety Director described them as ‘Cowboys.’
In Part 4 you heard The Rewarded Reviewers’ tales. For the benefit of your own mental health and wellbeing you became more aware of what a Sociopath is. You saw that Pristine Condition have no longevity in their Team with none of them displayed on their website Team page … a tell-tale sign. There’s that word tale again.
In Part 5 you saw, well what’s above this. No need to remind you. You just read it.
I thank you for reading this marathon of a Blog post, seeing what Davy Snowdon’s Pristine Condition really are. A Marketing Business, full of lies and self-aggrandisement with no Degree Qualified Professionals*, No Physical Therapists. A Business in the wrong industry.
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*Except the Lawyer.
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If Davy Snowdon really is an Expert in this Field, why hasn’t he penned a ‘World-Leading’ … ‘Unprecedented’ … ‘Benchmarked’ … ‘Never done before’ …. Book? That’s what true Authorities on a subject do.
For the benefit of any employee across the UK, luckily Davy Snowdon’s retirement … is not long away.
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And as we wrap up what I expect has been insightful CPD for you, I propose the following … if you need heart surgery you need heart Surgeon. If your car has broken down you need a Mechanic. If you are getting married your Wedding Afterparty needs an Expert DJ. The construction of your dream house, Degree Qualified Architects and a Professional Construction Firm.
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And Manual Handling …. in the words of Professor Nick Washmuth … needs only Physical Therapists.
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Pristine Condition and Davy Snowdon should step aside and stick to teaching Deadlifts ….
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And we all know what injuries that exercise causes.
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